I talked to God on Raton Pass

W. W. Killingsworth, had a heart attack while on a fishing trip south of Trinidad, Colorado. He talked to God, during transport after the heart attack, aged 44, on the ride into Raton, NM. His son reports the story that his dad coded during transport, 1969. He saw God, and God said to him, "You aren't done yet." He did live into his 60's, continuing his important and still discussed work as a Petroleum Engineer.  

Recently we had placed a significant Copper Piece in our breakfast room. The Copper Piece placed in the dining area came from Germany with the Muellers (now Millers, U.S.). W. W.'s wife was the holder of the Mueller Copper Piece until her death in January 2017. Her maiden name was Miller. 

W.W.'s son deems the Copper Piece likely mid-1800's, and he thinks it was a coffee keeper. Inside the Copper Piece are worry beads that W.W. acquired while he was in Greece in the 1960's-70's. We have left the worry beads in the Copper Piece, as that is where they have been for a number of years. W.W. Killingsworth was a Petroleum Engineer and worked all over the world in the 1950's-80's, with the likes of Red Adair, who was immortalized in John Wayne's movie, "Hellfighters."

I think W.W. would say to us today, 48 years later, as we travel the same path as he did when he talked to God, "...never stop fighting. Keep the faith. Live well. Don't worry....let the worry beads take on that task..."

Hicks Killingsworth
International Copyright 2017

Decisions

Give them hell! Or, show the incarcerated a glance of compassion, if that is possible. Oh, but for a few decisions different on anyone's part in the mix of life, and we could have been "them." My own father was incarcerated in Amarillo for passing a bad check once in the 60's. He lived his own version of hell. I am glad that my grandfather, the grumpy old man that he was, had compassion enough to get my father out of jail. We too, lived in my Dad's version of hell. It was brutal, and I would not wish that on any child in the universe. Ever.

We have an amazing existence. Oh, but for a few decisions different on anyone's part in the mix of life...

Hicks Killingsworth
2017 International Copyright Reserved

1 May 2017

My son turned 30-years-old today. Where did the time go?! I am mesmerized that he was a laughing, giddy child only yesterday. It is as if the rotating of the sun, moon, and stars has accelerated and I can only stand by as an observer now. 

I am laughing and crying in the same moment at the thought. We run as fast as we can, in the effort to provide for a child, to teach him our very best thought processes, and to hope with everything in us that he will survive the turmoil and chaos.

And in the resounding turning of the child into a 30-year-old, I am reminded at just how brief the moments have become. I am proud of the man he represents, in that he works hard, he's so smart, and he has grasped the goodness of being a kind soul. 

I am pleased that he survived those years too hard to even think upon. Life has held incredible challenges for us. He survived a parental marriage disaster. He forced his way through the chaos of our 2,000 mile move back to the South Central, of an impending change to a new school, of our vehicle being broken into, our apartment being ravaged by criminals, severe vehicle accidents, more Raman noodles than a child should have to consume, a weary mother with a scoundrel of a father who could not find common ground. 

He forged his way through the teenage years, with basketball on his agenda, every second of every day, and all the things that go along with changes occurring in the middle school and high school years. 

Thankfully, the young man survived college and crazy fraternity brothers, and the drive that got him through working numerous jobs to finalize the degree. He drove endless hours to get north into the Ohio Valley, when the job-market presented the opportunity to work there. (I still have no idea how he stayed awake hour after hour without sleep!)

He pushed through during eighty hour work weeks to finalize a master's degree in a top-ranked, world-class energy program, with severe sleep deprivation.  

Today, I realized that bringing a child into the world holds the greatest joy a mother can know. Experiencing life alongside that child, now grown into a 30-year-old productive citizen, is about the best opportunity I will have to gain hope for the future of humanity. 

Life has been good to us. Thirty years good! 

Hicks Killingsworth

International Copyright Reserved

16 Years

When one person determines another to be accounted for in a marriage and the beginning begins, one cannot fully comprehend or take in what the future may hold. The whole process is a stab in the dark. Yet, if one prevails, the outcome is deliriously amazing. Stability. Belief. Laughter. Anger. Quaintness. Honing. A hand to hold. A heart to beat. A musical touch for the soul. Happy anniversary, Killingworth. May the adventures ahead in our tomorrows, sing many songs.

Hicks Killingsworth
2017 International Copyright

Death

1/28/2017

Death changes us. We prepare. We think we know. We are even a bit cocky about how we will do things differently. Then when death takes the soul, we are altered. Forever.

The quiet after death is so loud that I think my ears will break. I listen, but hear nothing. And yet, it is soothing in its own comforting way.

I had this same feeling in Chipping Campden in the presence of bodies long gone cold. The experience tried my soul. I cried silent tears. And yet, I was consumed with another knowledge that gave me closer understanding. The universe is so big. And yet, we each distinctly matter. Herein is a large and mind-boggling thought.

Today, I will once again listen to the quiet ticking of the clock, and I will be still, and understand the uniqueness of silence.

Hicks Killingsworth
2017 International Copyright